Buying Cheap Cock

There is restaurant on a corner near my house.  For the longest time while I was in high school, it was a Denny's.  It was the crack den of the century.  I remember going there after concerts downtown and drinking coffee.  I don't actually remember eating there, but it was a place to go and smoke cigarettes and hang out.

After Denny's closed, the building remained empty for a long time. Finally, I noticed through some paper on the windows that someone was building stalactites and stalagmites from the walls on the inside.  Then, the restaurant was dubbed The Bedrock Cafe.  I went there once, and I ate an omelet that tasted as though it came from Denny's but was served in caveman style.

After The Bedrock Cafe closed, the stalactites and stalagmites just stayed there forever.  It must have cost a fortune for such garish decorating, but an evening bigger fortune to tear them down.

The next restaurant to go in the spot was a chinese buffet.  I don't remember the name for certain, but I think it was called Chopsticks.  I went there twice: once with my mom, and we were both grossed out that the crab rangoon had old crab claws stuffed into the ends of the puffy pastries--though I loved the chocolate fountain that they had very briefly.  The second time, I went with my roommate.  At the end of our meal--which wasn't very good--we left our money on the table with our bill, and we left.  As we were pulling out of the parking lot, a small, Asian woman started beating on the driver's side window of the car--and beating hard for a small, Asian woman--while yelling "YOU NO PAY!"  I politely (right) rolled down the window and told her our money was on the table and to get her hands off of my car.  I never went back.

So once Chopsticks closed, I wasn't surprised.  It's like crack den Denny's is haunting the space, never to let another restaurant survive.  So, when I saw Sushi Joy, a new Chinese and Japanese restaurant go in, I was a little shocked because no one has really learned their lesson yet, it seems.

I stopped on my way home from work and ordered some spring rolls, a couple of sushi rolls, and a coke.  When I paid, I found that that is not actually what I ordered:

Yes, that's right.  I have been caught.  I am guilty of buying cock--well, it's cheap!  Don't tell me you wouldn't do the same.  I pondered telling the girls working there about maybe reprogramming the register, but I couldn't figure out how to say "Hey, this receipt here says I am buying cock, not coke.  Cock is a penis. Coke is not a penis. A cock is a dick, a wiener, a prick, a tube steak, a skin flute.  A coke is a soft drink, a soda, a pop, a carbonated beverage."  I just thought the conversation would turn out awkwardly, so I avoided it all together.  But if they keep selling cock for $1.75, this restaurant may just make it.