I told this story to my coworkers the other day, and they think I am an obsessive weirdo.
The other day, I was watching my cat in the window, and I noticed my neighbor walk by with his enormously huge Doberman. I mean I could ride this dog and not hurt it, and I am a fat girl. The neighbor and dog were coming from the park, which is across from my house, after a jaunty game of fetch and a pleasant walk, and as the man walked near my alley, I noticed a small, blue bag filed with dog crap, and I mean PACKED with dog crap. And he stopped at our trashcan in the alley, and dropped his sack of crap in our trash can.
There are a few reasons this troubles me: 1.) There are plentiful trashcans at the park where the man could drop off his crap. 2.) The man lives like two houses down, and it wouldn't be hard for him to carry his crap all the way to his OWN trashcan. 3.) Our trashcan smells like shit in the summer--bad. A few times in the summer I usually hose it out and dump Mr. Clean or Lysol or some combo of chemicals that won't kill me when used together into that can, let it fester in the hot sun, and rinse the can out, just to get the crap smell out--which only works for about three days, and then it's back to square one. And the whole time I thought it was just my own cat's litterbox turds that I bundle up really well, usually double bagged.
Today, I am talking to my cat as he sits in the window. Man and huge doberman pass by. I cautiously peer out the back window, and damn that man, he puts his crap in my trashcan! I know a trashcan smells like shit because it is filled with shit. I know that! And I shouldn't be upset, but the trashcan smells like my shit--well not MY shit exactly, but the shit I throw away.
I am tempted to make a sign that has a picture of a pile of turds with a red ring around it and a slash through it indicating "THIS TRASHCAN IS NOT FOR YOUR TURDS, SIR!" I am also tempted to make a sign that says "Please quit putting your dog's poop in our trashcan; it stinks!" But I can't bring myself to do it because maybe I am crazy. Also, the man seems a little unstable to begin with.
Do it! Do it! Does this guy have something against you? Or does he not want his OWN trash can to smell like shit?
ReplyDeleteMake a sign! Video tape him! I would do something like that. I'm surprised you haven't stuck your head out the window and said, "Excuse me, but that isn't your trash can, and your dog's shit stinks."
Let me know what happens.
Okay, I just discussed this with my boyfriend and roommate.
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend thinks you should take it out of the trash and put it on his front step. Even possibly "flaming bag of poo" style.
That of course was after he said something about yelling, "Get your fucking dog shit out of my trash!"
It's weird because no one really seems to care as much as I do. I think it is that the guy seems so damned sneaky about it that it freaks me out. He looks around before depositing the steamy pile of turds. And yesterday someone suggested I leave it on his doorstep. And I suggested lighting it on fire, and he said "You'll get arrested." So, I'm just going to spy today on him and see what he does.
ReplyDeleteOh man, I live to hate people for petty crap like that. I care, Aunnie, I care.
ReplyDeleteThat is annoying! But--I hope that if you made the sign, you also took a picture of it and sent it too www.passiveaggresivenotes.com. Because that would be awesome!
ReplyDeleteI'd eat the dog shit
ReplyDelete