Uno, the one-eyed Siamese

When my beloved cat Mr. Smokey died in June of 2008, I got Uno from Simply Cats, a local no-kill, cageless shelter in August of 2008.  My other cat, Satan, who has since passed away was lonely, and though I didn't feel ready for another companion, I knew she needed one.  The decision was one based on a few things: 1.) I didn't think that anyone else would adopt Uno after I saw his picture because he  has only one eye, and people can be cruel and creeped out by things like that.  2.) Smokey had died due to complications from a tumor in his eyeball/brain, and Uno was missing the same eye that Smokey had a tumor in, so I took it as some sort of sign.

Baby Uno

At first Satan took an interest in Uno, but her interest quickly turned into a death wish.  After reading up on cat homicidal tendencies, I put coins in an empty soda can, taped the hole shut, and each time Satan went in for the kill, I shook the can and gave a firm "No!"  The website I had visited indicated something like "The cat must be made to understand when its homicidal tendencies are inappropriate.  Do not yell at the cat, but be firm and direct."  I felt like a nutcase each time I shook that ginger ale can, but it worked.

Shortly after Uno moved in, things started to go missing.  First a sweater of mine disappeared.  I thought it had fallen behind the washer and dryer, the dresser, and I even checked my roommate's laundry pile thinking she had accidentally or purposefully absconded with it.  I found the sweater under the couch.  And after I drug the sweater out and laundered it, it disappeared again.  And again, and again, and again.  Until, finally, I realized that Uno was stealing it and hiding it under the couch.

I have never written about Uno or his capacity for bringing presents to me in bed because another blogger at http://simonthecatburglar.blogspot.com did a much better job of telling cat stories.  Simon from simonthecatburglar was an outdoor cat, so his finds were much more interesting, but he has since passed away.  He seemed like a great animal, and as a tribute, and to carry on his memory and share memories of my own cat, here is a short list of things I have found in my bed courtesy of Uno or that he has brought me during inappropriate moments.

-Orange handled garden clippers
-paint roller
-laundry soap measuring cup
-yellow dust rag
-sunflower seed spores in a plastic baggy that my roommate has meant to plant for like 17 years
-pencils
-square pencil eraser my roommate uses while doing the crossword
-my pink slippers
-the dish towel from the sink (this happens on almost a daily basis)
-bic razor my roommate uses to shave with
-bathtub plug
-tampons (unused, but embarrassing considering he brought one to me while I was having a conversation with a guest in the living room--they said something like "Your cat is carrying a tampon."  And I replied "Yes, I know." conceding to the fact that I have no control over this beast.)

And while Uno loved embarrassing me constantly, and waking me from my sleep to show my presents, he has never loved any found item as much as "Pink Friend." After I got Uno home from the shelter, he fell in love with a pink feather toy that was on an orange, plastic cord.  He carried the toy around from room to room, almost as his surrogate, so I began calling the toy Pink Friend.  And as Uno would come around the corner with Pink Friend, the orange cord got stuck on corners and doorways in the house, and would finally give Uno a snap in the behind as it dislodged.  Eventually, Uno chewed the cord off, so he only had to contend with the pink and fluffy feather piece.  And the toy got disgusting.  It was gummed up and looked like a long, pink string with some feathers poking out. When Pink Friend started to wear out,  I found a feather toy that resembled Pink Friend, but it was green.  Uno would have nothing to do with it.  Green friend still lies here, untouched, fluffy, and ungummed up.  And no matter how beat up, Uno adored his Pink Friend.

Imagine my horror as a cat mother then, when a few weeks ago, I was vacuuming around the cat tree, and "Sloooooop!" Pink Friend goes down the hose.  I considered busting open the bag to dig for Pink Friend, but I couldn't imagine the dust mites now covering it.  It seemed Pink Friend met his fate.  I thought Uno would be okay, but he hasn't been the same since Pink Friend met his demise, and Uno already distrusts that vacuum cleaner--mom gave him another reason to hate it--it took his friend.  And after seeing poor Uno carry around a single feather--which he ripped out of another cat toy--from room to room looking as pathetic as ever, I finally went to the story and came home with the best replica I could find.  He seems happy, and I wonder how long it will stay on this cord.  I am just going to call Pink Friend II, Pink Friend.  I hope he doesn't notice.

Uno and Pink Friend II