Don't Ask, Don't Tell

I think the senate repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell is a remarkable accomplishment.  And I have mixed emotions about it, too.  I thought I would write about it here because I don't think that some people often see both perspectives when talking about this issue.  As part of a project I did about a year ago, I did an interview with a gay, enlisted soldier.  Of course, I won't out him here, and I didn't out him then, either.  In the interview, I was shocked to find that he saw Don't Ask, Don't Tell as a form of protection.  And while I think it's sad that he needed to feel protected from his fellow soldiers, I think that he isn't alone in the comfort that the policy provided.


Here is what I asked him about his feelings on overturning the law (he had a lot of other things to say, too, but this was the most important to me):

A:  “Wouldn’t you just rather the rule be overturned?”

SS: “Yes, but it isn’t going to change the way I conduct myself in the military.  It isn’t like I am going to start wearing pink boas.  I think that rule is wrong.  I think it shouldn’t matter [that I'm gay].  I would like to hope that this country is at a mature enough level rather than worrying about if guys are going to look at each other’s dicks in the shower.  And not be such sissies.  Why does it even matter?  Just because someone has a penis doesn’t mean I want to sleep with every single one I see.  But people are under that assumption.  As such a homophobic institution as the Army can be, they certainly act gay.  It’s all about dry humping each other’s butts, playing grab ass, and talking overly effeminate. Guys already look at each other’s dicks in the shower—gay or straight. Just to see how they measure up.  But as soon as they find out one of the other soldiers is gay, they want to raise a stink about it.  I don’t think we [the nation] are mature enough to handle it.  It’s people that are at higher ranks that want to talk about this.    Am I in favor of getting rid of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell?  I am kind of on the fence.  Yes, that in I have hope we can be mature and okay with that, but no because we are not there yet.  And right now, in theory, it is protecting me.”

I think it's ironic that a policy that is discriminating actually feels to some soldiers like it provides protection, and in a way, it does.  I know that if I were a gay solidier I wouldn't wan't to be discriminated against.  I wouldn't want to keep my family or life a secret.  Leading dual lives is incredibly difficult.  Living in fear of losing your job because of who you love would be horrible.  I know a marine who lost his job because of Don't Ask, Don't Tell after an investigation was launched into his personal life, and he is even against the policy being overturned, too because of the protection the policy provides.

I think it is incredible that the Senate agreed this week.  And I think the decision is a step towards gay civil rights.  But is it the right step at the right time or are we getting ahead of ourselves?  I don't know.   I don't know how the laws should be strategically overturned to get us where we need to be in society.  I think any step is important, but at what cost? What I am worried about are the repercussions of the decision.  Are thousands of soldiers going to suffer at the hands of hate crimes simply because they came out after the policy is officially signed?  Will we see military trials because of the actions of homophobic assholes?  I hope not, and I hope this decision helps, not hurts.