Intervention

Today is one week since I have been out of school, and I am tired.  While I have been trying to write and get my grad school application completed during the days, and working at night, I feel unmotivated.  I have been told that it is normal to feel unmotivated after accomplishing a huge goal like graduating college.

I got my grades today, and I got a 4.0 for the semester, two A+s and two As, so I know I should be proud, but this sudden slowing of my schedule only complicates my unmotivation.  I have found time for television where I never had time before--oh, I used to watch it, mainly The Office, 30 Rock, Mad Men, Dexter, and Weeds--but only while computing math problems or trying to write for class. Over Thanksgiving break, I discovered that A&E's show Intervention is on Netflix, and since I have graduated, I can't quit watching it.

In two days, I have made it completely through Season 3.  I don't know what my draw to the show is.  I don't know if I like it because I have seen addiction affect my own family, but there is something so interesting to me about watching how different families handle their demise, though I know that addiction is serious.  Also, the show is so unflattering to the addicts and often to their families that it seems that the show isn't far from reality--though I know the show is produced for effect. It's a mindless show, and one I may need help to stop watching.  Sometimes I see the families of the addicts and think I would be an addict if you were my family, too.  Mean, I know.  And I have friends who have died of addiction, and it is heartbreaking, so if anything, maybe this show is an eye-opener for some and a warning to others.

I don't watch the show in a normal, linear way.  I pull it up on Netflix and let the intro to the show start with the dramatic, tinny music.  For those that haven't seen the show, the person is introduced with a small montage of their former, non-addict life through photographs and commentary of their family.  Then usually there is big text that comes across the screen that says "The Cheerleader" and it morphs into "The Heroin Addict."  Then the addict speaks, and some of the most horrific scenes of the addict using and nodding off to sleep with plates of food in their lap are showed in the beginning of the show.  And that's enough for me to see.  Then, I fast-forward to the end where the intervention happens.  I don't really care about the middle.  I don't need to see the demise--I know it's there.  I am more interested in the family speaking to the addict and the crying.  I need the crying and the screaming, and I am more interested in the mini-updates they give at the end: did the person stay sober, and did they stay reconnected to their family.  In the episodes I have seen so far, nobody refuses treatment.  A lot of people relapse, however.

I am still not sure why I like the show so much, but until I get my motivation back, I am going to keep watching it. Hopefully, I don't end up on the show.