Too Fat to Fly

While I know that the Kevin Smith/Southwest debacle happened a few months ago, I still think about it often. If you have no idea what I am talking about, read about it here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/02/14/director-kevin-smith-too_n_461803.html

No matter how you feel about fat people (over 1/3 of Americans are "overweight"), whether you think they need to "slim down" or you think they are disgusting, or you think they are jolly because they jiggle when they laugh, the fact remains: we all need to be nicer to each other. No matter if you are skinny or ugly or nerdy or tattooed or scarred because a fucking chimpanzee ripped off your face in a horrible accident, we all deserve to be treated like human beings.

I just saw an interview with Marilyn Wann--fat activist--from a morning show a year ago where she addresses the airline issue. She basically says that she wants to spill into your seat about as much as you want her to. She thinks that everybody should have seats they are comfortable in--which I think is fair. Because, no matter how much you complain, fat people are still going up into the air whether you like it or not. And so are the skinny ones and the ugly ones and the disabled ones and the ones with kids that vomit who stink up the whole plane.

And it isn't just the size of the seat that appalls me about airlines. It's that now you can't travel with checked luggage without paying, you are charged in some cases for "stretch-seats" in which you can pay $15.00 per segment for an extra inch of leg room (thank you Frontier Airlines what a fucking bargain), you pay for T.V., you pay for pillows, you pay for blankets, and I wouldn't be surprised that if you take a shit in the fancy airtoilet, soon, you will be charged for that, too.

The last time I flew, I flew with my roommate, and I didn't need a second seat. While we were snuggled up close because we are both fat chicks, it was fine. As Kevin Smith says, "I am not that fat, yet." But you know what? What if I was? What if I was the friend that you all know and love, and I was that fat? And what if I was the one that an airline was intentionally trying to humiliate on that Southwest flight like the girl who was sitting next to Kevin Smith who was from Boise, ID (in case you didn't know)?

I love me the way I am, as those that know me recognize, and I am not going to apologize for me. I have bad days, like everyone, but I love me.

So, my quandary is this: which airline do I fly? Because if I get to the airport and am told I am too fat for the plane (much like Kevin Smith), I am not taking the attempted humiliation with tears, and you all are going to have to bond together, scrape up some pennies, and bail my ass out of the TSA jail. Part of the quandary is this: I hate flying anyway. I hate being that close to other people for an extended length of time without an exit (that won't kill me). Flying is like being in a tin can with wings. And I always end up next to the drunk business guy, which is nice when they buy you a drink, but not so nice when they fall asleep in your seat. Why don't they charge those guys extra, and profile them at the airport? Hey, you look like you are going to hit the sauce pretty hard and pass out on your fellow passenger...you need to buy an extra seat and pay for a pillow.

So, since I am in this kind of "letter writing mood" lately, I wrote this letter to Southwest today, just to remind them, that the fatties are still here, we're scary, and we're lurking.

I am avoiding flying your airline because I am a fat person. After the whole Kevin Smith debacle, I really don't want to to do business with you. Usually, you have the cheapest flights, but they are actually more expensive than anything out there right now. Maybe you are suffering from fat people avoiding your airlines? Seeing as how the girl you tried to kick off the flight that was riding near Kevin Smith was from Boise, Idaho, I am even more reluctant to do business with you, as I feel I should stand with her in solidarity.

You require fat people to purchase two tickets. I don't need two seats, but how am I to know that you won't decide I am too fat to fly once I get to the airport? You might decide I am, just like you decided both Kevin Smith and the poor young lady you humiliated in front of everyone were.

Do you discount the second ticket as I have heard before, or do you charge fat people for two (which in my case would be nearly $1,000 dollars) and treat them like cargo instead of human beings?

Just thought I would ask.

Sincerely,
Andrea Oyarzabal